Waiting...

Ok, so I'm already getting impatient! I want it to be January already! I had another negative test today, which I assumed. I had stopped taking my progesterone last night because I didnt think I would get a postive. I just want to get moving to the next cycle. I wont be trying this cycle, but I will have a CD3 ultrasound to check on my ovary and tube. I dont want to worry about the meds this cycle because I think I just need a break from the emotion before surgery and IVF.

Tonight I hung out with my sister at the kids basketball games. I sold my first headband! I can't wait for the games at the highschool because I think I will sell a lot more. There will be more people at those games. That will be after the new year. I have considered getting one of those jackets where you just open it up and your goods are displayed (like the guys that sell the stolen watches on movies) haha.

Earlier today after hanging out with the worlds greatest momma, I visited at my sisters house. She babysits in her home for a living. Right now she is watching two of my cousins that are babies. One is like 7 weeks old, his name is Jayce. He is very adorable and I got to give him his bottle today. The other is Logan who is like 11 months old. He is a miracle baby that give me more hope than anything right now. His momma has endometriosis too. They weren't sure if she would ever get preggo but it finally happened NATURALLY! While I dont have the patience they have, its still inspiring. He is also cute as can be! I was burping Jayce and he came over and started patting his back! It was adorable.

Wow its weird to think that this time next year I may just have a baby of my own. What will he/she look like? My life will be so different!! And my dr says 50% chance of twins, yea my life wil be DIFFERENT! lol I cant wait until my first ultrasound. It will be exciting to see how many babies are in there! Instead of counting eggs! haha

I guess i shouldnt be surprised!

WOW. Life really knows how to throw it at ya. I found out tonight that a close friend/co-worker is pregnant. I really didnt need something else to deal with at this point. Please let me be pregnant. Please. Tomorrow is 8 DPO and im sure the test will be BFN again, but i guess im looking for a miracle. Not sure how much more my emotions can take!!! GRRRR. When will it be my turn!? I think i have been patient enuf already! Im done being patient! I find out wed if i get to do ivf and when. Also if i have to have another surgery first.

I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING SO BAD!

Sorry this post is so  depressing but it helps me to vent! I have been staying pretty strong! But now ive cracked. I hope i have the strength for tomorrow.

Snow please close the roads so i can stay in bed all day.

Decisions, decisions!!

I really wish I could go back to when I was a kid. Life was so much easier! (Even though I didn't think so then! LOL) The hardest decisions we had to make were what to play with, who to be friends with, what tv show to watch... MAN that is the life! Now I'm a big girl, in the middle of my big girl world. AND I WANT OUT! haha

Ok on to the decisions I have made and have to still make. First off, I decided to cancel this months IUI. It started because Bob just learned today that he has to work on Saturday, and the IUI was scheduled for Sat. But I was thinking about it, and I dont feel like stressing over it this month. We are going to still try "naturally" lol.

Now for the next decision, I'm calling my RE tomorrow to ask for an IVF consult. I think this may be our best option. Bob has told me to do what ever needs to be done! My left tube was open 4 months ago and its already gone. So I just keep wondering, when will the right tube be taken over by Endo? I need to get pregnant ASAP. The good news is my between my insurance, HSA, and 401K (if needed) I think most of the IVF will be paid for and we will be able to afford at least one try at it! I am just way nervous that it wont work! Wish me luck!

On top of all this I think im getting sick. I can't get sick! I am coaching basketball and our first game is sunday!!!